soccermum.net

If you tuned in to SBS last Friday night you would have had the pleasure (because, yes; I found it a pleasure) to view the program aptly titled The Perfect Vagina .  A truly enlightening program that was very witty, well researched and candid.  Recently I did a blog on Vaginal Laser Rejuvenation .  VLR is more geared towards enhancing the vaginal muscle tone, strength and control.  But this program covers the basic "pleasing of the eye" down there!

It seems that the majority of women are not happy with the "look" of their vagina.  Most common areas of concern are size/shape of both the inner (labia minora) and outer (labia majora) lips.  Fat flaps, hanging hams and cauliflower face are terms that I came to understand.

In this honest and compassionate program Lisa Rogers tries to find out why more and more women are considering vaginal surgery for either aesthetic or cultural reasons.  Through meeting a variety of people including her friends, family, girls who are considering surgery, sex therapists and plastic surgeons, Lisa tries to understand why girls as young as sixteen are requesting this surgery on their labia and in doing so will not only reveal how British men and women feel about vaginas but she will also be forced to confront her own feelings about her own vulva (ooohhh, that's a yucky word isn't it)?

After seeing one young woman undergo vagina plastic surgery under a local anaesthetic Lisa is determined to encourage women not to go under the knife, but to seek alternative methods.  Lisa's plight is to have girls/women love their bits, not cut them off!  The program not only investigates the realm of vaginal cosmetic surgery but opens a Pandora's box in the process, tackling a whole range of secondary issues, including body image, self esteem and cultural taboos.

There are great moments in the program.  A sex therapist that specialises in group therapy sessions.  You can join a group by lounging around in a silk robe.  One by one you place a mirror between your knees and view your vagina.  You talk to her (for the purpose of this story let's refer to the "V" as her), you name her and you share her life story with the group.  Apparently she is a living organ that has feelings and a history.  Then when you are comfortable and ready you can lower the mirror and invite the rest of the group to basically peer into your twat and observe .... and observe ..... and observe ...... and if you are lucky enough ... tell you how beautiful it is.

Another classic moment is the opportunity to take part in a sculpture of around 160 vagina bits.  Lisa rocks up to the Sculptors workshop, sits spread legged on a table and has him slap a bucket full of plaster of paris into her crotch.  He then tests it for hardness, peels it off and you can calmly view it together and have him add it to his collection for exhibiting.

All in all vaginal cosmetic surgery on the NHS has doubled in the UK over the past 5 years and in the private sector there has been a 300% increase in labioplasties, making it the fastest growing form of cosmetic surgery in the UK.

I loved the program and aside from sneaking a peek at chicks in the gym locker room - I've a settling feeling that I have a pretty normal looking muff.  But if you have an afternoon to spare log onto: http://guesshermuff.blogspot.com/ for a bit of your own self education!

To summarise, I am definitely not a prude .  In fact I am rather liberal in my opinions.  I admit that I only had a glimpse of the situation down there during pregnancy (because lets be frank .... it is a growing world of its own down there at that time) and I refused the mirror during childbirth.  Even if my LADY (aka vagina) donned lipstick and eyeliner I can't say I'd be sharing her with a bunch of scantily clad chicks in a group sex therapy session.  The closest any chick gets to viewing my LADY is a "camel toe shot" through a pair of ill-fitting jeans.

I can honestly say I would rather attend a Tupperware party.